You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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