Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
