We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
