More tranny stories later!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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