so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
