Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need moral support for this bender
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
