My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
