I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
