I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
why is half of my head shaved?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
