The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
