Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
