I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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