Will you blow on my dice?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
