he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
