Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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