shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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