at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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