I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
