That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
