yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
