No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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