When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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