shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Alive.
So much puke
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
