There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
