I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
