Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
