So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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