there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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