if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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