Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish I only lived at night.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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