I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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