Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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