you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
