Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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