i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
