She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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