last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
