I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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