i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
