i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
