Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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