So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
