I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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