; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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