How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
