i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
