He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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