We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
