There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
