Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
